Mum reckons ketchup makes me hyper.
Mum reckons ketchup makes me hyper.

If recent comments made by Scouse supremo Sam Quek are anything to go by, it is the dinner ladies that are making Holcombe HC so attractive to England’s hottest hockey stars.

“When I first came here, I was noshing down bowls of pasta carbonara after every match.  But now, it’s cheesy chips or nowt for me.”

Asked about the rest of the facilities at the Kent-based club, Sam was surprisingly nonchalant.  “Pitch is alright I ‘spose, but what I like most is the new deep fat fryer they got in the pantry.  Mable’s in charge of that, see, and she can work it on all three settings.”

“If the queue is too long, all I need to do is jangle my £3.50 dinner money and she’ll know to crack open a fresh bag of McCain crinkle cut chips.  Best thing is, if I score a goal she’ll give me a sprinkle of the nice posh cheese she gets in from Aldi.”