Do you have any more prawn sandwiches? I’m famished.

Deep in his underground cave beneath the entrance of Reading HC, the quiet and reticent Mani Kochar wants nothing more than a bit of peace and quiet.

I’ve been a bit down in the dumps this week.  Kate Walsh borrowed my Crocs shoes and hasn’t given them back yet, even though I’ve sent her lots of text messages.  I’ve been scared of her ever since she told me to piss off after I asked her to stop saying rude words to the umpire.

Also, I’m only allowed out on Sundays, but unfortunately the local bus doesn’t run on Sundays.  This means I have to walk down to the Marks and Spencer garage, and I get a headache from all the bibbing cars.