Surbiton supremo Georgie Twigg has sensationally announced that she is ending her asparagus
association with the British Asparagus group.

The Olympic gold medallist, who has been sponsored by British Asparagus since 2012, was quoted as saying “BA were constantly sending me free asparagus, but I was always getting an upset tummy as I don’t know how to cook it properly.  The elastic bands were great for keeping my ponytail in place during training, so it wasn’t all bad.”

Rumours that Iain Lewers has been frantically searching for an alternative aphrodisiac remain unconfirmed.

Advertisements