Why are Wagon Wheels so much smaller these days?

Outraged hockey fans took to social media over the weekend after tickets for the upcoming match against Holland sold out within minutes of going on sale.

“I had three browser tabs open, yet the website crashed the moment I got to the checkout,” one angry mother of three complained.  “By the time I rebooted my phone they had all sold out, and because I was sitting in my Range Rover all the people behind me were beeping because the lights had turned green.”

A man from Buckingham told us “I got my tickets during the priority window, and everything seemed to be fine.  However, the next morning I woke up to find that my guinea pig had died during the night.  I’m very disappointed with the way England Hockey treats the fans, it’s just not fair.”

“I took one look at the price of the tickets and shut down my Macbook Pro in disgust,” a retired gardener from Surrey explained.  “Whilst I can appreciate the match is taking place in a world class venue in the capital city of a first world nation, I don’t see how England Hockey can justify the entry fee.  Just because the current European and Olympic champions are playing the world number one side, in a game featuring some of the best players that have ever existed, why should I be expected to pay more than three pounds to witness such a spectacle?”

“When you consider that I can pop down and watch Whitby Badgers 3rd XI for nothing, it represents very poor value for most hockey fans.”