Umpire, where’s the loo? I’m dying to go.

The debate surrounding the secret to George Pinner’s success can be finally laid to rest as England’s padded wonder revealed that minor adjustments to his diet are behind the dramatic improvements to his fitness

“Last year I was peeling some vegetables for me dinner, when I suddenly wondered what the point was.  As an experiment I decided to cook them with their skins on and nobody seemed to notice during the meal.  Mum and dad were really shocked when I told them, they said it was the last thing they had been expecting me to say.”

“It’s good because it saves me loads of time and is really healthy because I don’t have to worry about accidentally cutting myself.  The only time it happens these days is when I use my auntie’s pruning shears to cut my toenails.”

“I’ve been testing the idea with some of my other favourite foods recently.  Apples are okay, but satsumas and melons taste bitty if you don’t peel them first.”