If there’s one thing that gets on my tits these days, it’s having to put up with people telling me what I can and can’t do all the time. The other week I banned the opposition keeper from our club house after noticing that he had a shit tattoo, and everyone immediately complained.
My gaff, my rules.
Anyway, that type of shite is why I’m setting up a new hockey club for me and any other like-minded fellows who want to control who can and can’t come into their own D – Brexit HC.
Here are some of my thoughts on the matter:
- England Hockey are the governing body and whatever comes out of Sally Munday’s gob is sovereign. For too long the Dutch and the Germans have ruled the roost at the Euro Hockey Federation, so I’m well up for playing hardball in negotiations for things that need to be negotiated, whatever those things might be.
- If the EHL want us to play in their bloated nonsense of a competition, it will be under our terms. We don’t necessarily need to join officially; rather, we can come to individual agreements with each of the participating clubs and arrange the matches in an ad-hoc fashion to give ourselves maximum advantage.
- Likewise with all those EHL armbands and branding – I can do a deal with a local school and get some British kids to make them instead.
- All the chairpersons will be elected by members to ensure that everyone gets a fair say and to make sure proper process is followed at all times. The only corollary being that I can tell everyone to piss off if I disagree.
- Foreign muck like chilli con carne makes me heave, so all post-match teas will consist of bacon & egg sandwiches with brown sauce.